Oh, Lily, this hit me SO deeply. Thank you for sharing your story with such honesty and clarity. I went through something eerily similar, and reading this felt like reliving my own experience of going from 0 to 100 and then crashing back to 0. That cycle is so deflating — it’s exhilarating, terrifying, and everything in between, as you perfectly put it. It takes immense strength to walk away, especially when empathy clouds the line between love and self-preservation. I’m proud of you for making that choice, knowing firsthand how hard it is. May this kind of love never find us again — and instead, may we find something honest, kind, and calm.
This is so well written and so close to what I went through as well. You really hit the nail by describing how we look at them as a broken child who just needs love. And love is not all we need. It doesn’t fix anyone and we can’t waste our lives trying to fix broken people. So glad you got out. I’m 10 months out and still have so much healing to go. 💚🫶🏼
Beautiful, thank you for sharing. So much of healing has been wanting to confront my younger self, I can’t understand why she stayed, why she tolerated so much mistreatment, the control of everything from what I ate to who I talked to. Your perspective is so valuable, thank you for writing and posting this
Heartbreaking. I hear and feel you wholeheartedly - absolutely nobody prepares you for this kind of shit. Especially as empathetic girlies who put others’ needs/ wants over their own by second nature.
Thanks for sharing, what an interesting life detour. It's a great story, and even though it didn't work out, now you know what to avoid moving forward, so it's all for the best.
Funnily enough, the part the really awoken something within me was this line:
“Be careful!” he shouted as I backed out of the driveway. “And remember, valet only! You can’t park this car on the street!”
This detail evoked a sadness within me. The idea of feeling that you must own things so imbued in collective status that you can't even navigate the world with these belongings without feeling that you are in some real degree of danger, to the point where you require valet and ancillary services. The stress of digesting that sentence made me, imagining myself in your shoes, want to return the vehicle immediately. It reminds me of that quote about how "things you own end up owning you".
And yet, he had chosen to purchase something implicitly bundled with paranoia, I suppose, to impress you, or impress anyone who was looking at him to evaluate his worth (from his perspective, not what people are actually doing ). Realizing the motivation itself, was another poignant moment to process for me. And then, when you revealed the father with the Louis Vuitton bag and the airplane phone number flex, like you, I felt the 'aha' moment from where these seemingly pain-based reactions may have had their origins.
But yes, while I don't think it was the thrust of your publication (the primary point being the dangers of a narcissistic personality), I think another lesson that was reinforced for me is how off-putting displays of wealth are, especially when they are treated as substitutes for being decent to someone else.
Wow, thank you so much for reading and for your thoughtful response. I totally agree. I think more often than not, flashy displays of wealth reveal a deep lack or insecurity within the person.
Oh, Lily, this hit me SO deeply. Thank you for sharing your story with such honesty and clarity. I went through something eerily similar, and reading this felt like reliving my own experience of going from 0 to 100 and then crashing back to 0. That cycle is so deflating — it’s exhilarating, terrifying, and everything in between, as you perfectly put it. It takes immense strength to walk away, especially when empathy clouds the line between love and self-preservation. I’m proud of you for making that choice, knowing firsthand how hard it is. May this kind of love never find us again — and instead, may we find something honest, kind, and calm.
ᯓᡣ𐭩 Danah
Thank you. I love you.
This is so well written and so close to what I went through as well. You really hit the nail by describing how we look at them as a broken child who just needs love. And love is not all we need. It doesn’t fix anyone and we can’t waste our lives trying to fix broken people. So glad you got out. I’m 10 months out and still have so much healing to go. 💚🫶🏼
this!!! thank you for reading and proud of you for getting out. It’s not easy
Beautiful, thank you for sharing. So much of healing has been wanting to confront my younger self, I can’t understand why she stayed, why she tolerated so much mistreatment, the control of everything from what I ate to who I talked to. Your perspective is so valuable, thank you for writing and posting this
thank you for being open and sharing your experience ❤️ healing happens together
Heartbreaking. I hear and feel you wholeheartedly - absolutely nobody prepares you for this kind of shit. Especially as empathetic girlies who put others’ needs/ wants over their own by second nature.
So real. Thank you for reading Lara
But what do you do when the narcissistic man in your life is your dad 🤦♀️😭
Great writing ❤️ thanks for sharing
Agh, so hard when it’s in the family. Sending you love, thank you for reading ❤️
Thanks for sharing, what an interesting life detour. It's a great story, and even though it didn't work out, now you know what to avoid moving forward, so it's all for the best.
Funnily enough, the part the really awoken something within me was this line:
“Be careful!” he shouted as I backed out of the driveway. “And remember, valet only! You can’t park this car on the street!”
This detail evoked a sadness within me. The idea of feeling that you must own things so imbued in collective status that you can't even navigate the world with these belongings without feeling that you are in some real degree of danger, to the point where you require valet and ancillary services. The stress of digesting that sentence made me, imagining myself in your shoes, want to return the vehicle immediately. It reminds me of that quote about how "things you own end up owning you".
And yet, he had chosen to purchase something implicitly bundled with paranoia, I suppose, to impress you, or impress anyone who was looking at him to evaluate his worth (from his perspective, not what people are actually doing ). Realizing the motivation itself, was another poignant moment to process for me. And then, when you revealed the father with the Louis Vuitton bag and the airplane phone number flex, like you, I felt the 'aha' moment from where these seemingly pain-based reactions may have had their origins.
But yes, while I don't think it was the thrust of your publication (the primary point being the dangers of a narcissistic personality), I think another lesson that was reinforced for me is how off-putting displays of wealth are, especially when they are treated as substitutes for being decent to someone else.
Wow, thank you so much for reading and for your thoughtful response. I totally agree. I think more often than not, flashy displays of wealth reveal a deep lack or insecurity within the person.
Beautiful and very moving and true. This doesn’t only happen to women. I’m glad you got out. It’s hellish.
thank you for reading. and absolutely, men are often victim to this as well
Thanks for sharing, I so relate!
Thank you for reading!
I admire your strength and vulnerability with this piece! Thank you for sharing your experience in such a powerful way
Thank you so much 💘
"One that I was constantly reminded I should be grateful for." I feel you on so many levels.
💘
Adored this piece. It takes courage to understand this kind of relationship and then to write about it. Sending you healthy and happy love! X
Thank you Rosa! Sending love
Thank you for sharing, and the reminder that even when it's difficult - choosing yourself and your peace is always the right choice <3
❤️❤️
I absolutely loved this piece, proud of you for leaving and knowing it's not your fault and its not your job
Thank you and thank you for reading ❤️
Trae Young?
How did I miss this.
I think this is very accurate point. Thank you for reading and for your thoughtful comment ❤️