Creativity Needs Stability
Be regular and orderly in your life so that you may be violent and original in your work. – Gustav Flaubert
I was on a video call with Jennifer Vesta, my psychic-slash-tarot card reader-slash-astrologist. (Otherwise known as the person I go to instead of therapy)
I had set up a session with her to see what the universe had in store for me in 2025, and at the end of our one hour zoom call we pulled a tarot. Today’s question was: “What is my deepest desire in this life? And what action do I need to take to move towards it?”
Question 1: What is my deepest desire? She pulls the Page of Swords—the youngest of the court cards. “It’s a playful approach to intellectual agility,” she explains to me. “A youthful approach to creativity” A cheeky artist.
Question 2: What action do I need to take to move towards this? She pulls the King of Coins—the most mature of the court cards. “It’s a paternal energy around material resources,” she says. The king of money.
“This intuitively makes sense to me,” Jennifer tells me. “Because in order to be free, playful, and creative, you need the financial security and maturity of handling your resources.”
I nod, pushing the image of my bank account balance out of my head.
“People don’t talk about it enough when they talk about artistry,” she goes on. “The poor struggling artist is bullshit. Any artist that makes it, they have stable finances.”
For me, as I imagine is the case for most young artists, the fork in the road between money and creativity is rife with tension. As I was planning my goals for the new year I had to ask myself: Do I prioritize my art? Or do I prioritize money? Do I invest my time and energy into writing this book, or do I invest it into my day job—which I love but it’s certainly not my life’s work. And if I prioritize the latter, is that neglecting my inner artist?
The answer was in the cards.
I immediately knew that Jennifer was right. I don’t believe the “starving artist” can exist in 2025. We like to imagine Hemmingway, Picasso, and Gertrude Stein huddled around a bistro table in Paris, but in the 20’s even they could afford to have a roof over their heads and their basic human needs met.
In order to let your brain expand into the cosmos, you need to have your feet planted firmly on the ground.
Perhaps nurturing our inner child requires us to first harness our inner adult. My intention this year is to be that father figure, that King of Coins, and to create a secure foundation for my creative child, the Page of Swords, to run wild and free.
I know a lot of you are writers and artists yourself, how has this come up for you? How do you manage it? Let the comments section be a space to vent, commiserate, and support.
Recommendations from the Week
“She saw how great art was, as she lay in his bed, and how faithful; how faithful a book was, and how strong, a place you could be safe, apart from the world, held inside a world that would never grow weak”
Above is one of the many underlined quotes from Pure Colour by Sheila Heti, a book I read this week and absolutely treasured. A contemporary bible of sorts, Pure Color is a poetic and absurd story about creation, God, and what it means to live and love during our short time on this earth. It’s definitely a bit pretentious and an acquired taste, (I’m a snob when it comes to prose, sue me), but I wholeheartedly recommend it. I also read Martyr! by Kaveh Akbar, which has been gaining a lot of popularity recently. As a fellow Iranian, I felt it was my duty to read the Akbar’s debut novel, which was rich with Iranian cultural references. It was ok.
Lastly I read Love by Leo Buscaglia. Also known as “Dr. Love”, Buscaglia taught a non-credited class at USCS that explored the meaning of love. The book, which was written in the 70’s, is a beautiful little reminder on best practices when it comes to giving and receiving love. I actually think his lectures on love are even stronger than his books. He’s quite the character, and I think his essence is best captured in video or audio.
I also read this, which is one of my favorite pieces I’ve read on Substack:
This week I saw three movies. I watched Rain Man for the first time—a precious film from the 80’s where Dustin Hoffman delivered an Oscar winning performance as Tom Cruise’s autistic brother. I was a bit disappointed by Anora, given how much praise it received. The storyline around sex work felt contrived and predictable. There was one character, however, that made the whole movie worth it. (If you know, you know). Lastly I saw A Real Pain, which has also been nominated for so many awards. It was a touching 90 minutes. Kieran Culkin is the GOAT (and my celebrity crush).
xoxo
Lily




Something I had learned around this time last year is that you need a regulated life on the unregulated path of an artist. In not knowing where the next job may be coming from, dealing with swift changes etc. It’s imperative that you have the stability, the mindless pleasurable things in place so that when in the potential instability it can be sustained healthily. I loved learning that and cultivating that. It has truly changed my life and in reading this I was reminded of that. Thank you. How the practice of this going so far for you?
Girl I just discovered your work and I love it. Right beside you in the day job & writing dance.