“We do fast.
Fast food. Fast fashion. Fast cars. Fast lives. They tell us life is short, but maybe it’s only short because they took our time and sold it back to us.”
I had a dream last night that I was about to board a flight, but moments before stepping onto the plane I realized I was wearing the wrong shoes. My black leather flats would look much better with this outfit. “I’ll be right back!” I say to the flight attendant. I dash home.
In dream time, it takes me thirty seconds to get to my house. I throw on my worn-out Mary Janes and next thing I know I’m back at the airport, weaving and dodging through the crowd. I sprint to my gate at the very end of the terminal only to find my plane reversing out of the gate onto the tarmac. A glistening blue sea shines behind it. I missed my flight. I wake up.
I have a tendency to rush through life. I fly through my to-do list. I speed-walk down the street. I even talk fast, throwing words out of my mouth to get the sentence out as quickly as possible.
Slowness doesn’t come naturally to me.
In some ways, it’s in my nature. In astrology, I’m an Aries, we’re known for being energetic and action oriented. In Ayurveda, I’m a Vata, comprised of air and ether, we’re all about action, transportation, and movement. In psychology, I’m a type A personality. In my mom’s words, I have a restless soul.
While being an active accomplisher is something I’m proud of, I’m also well aware of the importance of embracing the slow life, and the detriment of chronic fast living. (Did someone say nervous system crash out?)
In a fast paced world, slowness is an act of rebellion.
We’ve been conditioned for instant gratification. We want to get rich quick and lose weight fast. We expect our packages to arrive the next day, our food to be delivered quickly, and we want to know by the 6th date whether the person sitting across from us is our soulmate or not.
As we chop through the brush of the present moment with our machetes in hand, I do have to wonder what exactly we are expecting to find on the other side. What clear grassy pasture do we assume awaits us? And once we get there, will we then finally be fully satisfied and present? (Spoiler alert: doubtful)
Even as I write this, I’m eager to get to the end. For this piece to be done.
We get excited about beginnings and we feel accomplished at endings. But the middle bits. Oh how we hate the middle bits—the discomfort, uncertainty, and messiness that it brings.
Rushing is avoidance.
Doing life fast is in many ways a coping mechanism for being uncomfortable. We don’t want to confront the thoughts that arise in our brains when we are idle. Or the discomfort in our body when we are still. There is an awareness that slowness brings which often frightens us. We’ve been conditioned to avoid ourselves, filling our lives with distractions to avoid having to ever truly encounter ourselves.
Slowness is where we meet ourselves.
Slowness is where the nectar is.
Slowness is where a good life is to be found.
Slowness is presence.
Here are some ways to go slow:
When you are doing everyday tasks like washing your face or doing the dishes, don’t default to turning a podcast on or putting something on the TV. Be present in what you are doing, no matter how mundane.
Put your goddamn phone away. You don’t need it to on a walk, you don’t need it the second you wake up, and you certainly don’t need it to go to the bathroom.
Stop overbooking your calendar. Give yourself time to linger. To meander. To discover. You can’t be present in your experience if you have to run off to the next place in 45 minutes.
Read a big fat book.
Embrace boredom, that’s where you’ll get all your good ideas.
Practice yin yoga, tai chi, or qi gong.
Drink herbal teas and eat warm, moist, nourishing foods. Think root vegetables, stews, soups, warm home-cooked meals.
Have a consistent sleep, wake, and workout schedule.
Spend time in nature and learn from nature. As Lao Tzu said, “nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.”
Take a bath.
Stop multitasking, just do one thing at a time.
When you’re spending time with someone, platonic or romantic, just be there. Really be there. Let your guard down. Get out of your head. Stop trying to control the outcome.
xoxo
Lily
Thank you, I very much needed this <3
Thank you for this piece. It has come to me at a time that I needed it most. Beautifully written, and it speaks right to the heart.