Old Keys Won't Open New Doors

On letting go and making space

I can count on one hand (ok one finger) the amount of New Year’s parties I’ve been to. It’s not because I never get invited to them, it’s because I never really say yes.

For me, New Year’s eve is a night for reflection. If you want to party, I’ll gladly party with you on any given Tuesday in a warehouse in Brooklyn. But on December 31, you’ll find me in my room with sage burning and candles flickering. I reflect on the lessons learned, the mistakes made, the mountains climbed, and all the ways I’ve changed in the past 365 days. My evening is typically filled with meditations, cord cutting rituals, and lengthy journaling sessions. I spend the time not only reflecting on the past but also getting clear on how I want the future to look. I write out my vision for the next twelve months in vivid detail. I make action plans and deadlines. Then I go to bed, often before the ball drops, and get nine hours of gorgeously uninterrupted sleep.

Then I wake up on the first day of the year feeling amazing and have a day that feels fantastically me.

This year, on the first day of 2024, I woke up bright and early to meet a friend in Malibu for a sunrise surf. Bobbing on our boards on a misty morning at sea, we watched the first light of the year pour over the horizon. We weren’t just the only people awake, we were the only people on earth. We had the entire ocean to ourselves. We surfed tandem waves that broke off a giant rock that stuck out from the middle ocean. We swapped boards and exchanged party tricks. I’d catch a wave and scream wooohoo. He’d yell Go! Go! Go!

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Now it’s December. The final act of a twelve part play. We’ve made it to the end. And if January is about bringing in the new, then in December we must let go of the old.

December is a shedding.

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Astrologers, tarot card readers, and intuits always say the same thing: that in order to call in what is meant for you, you have to clear out what isn’t. I watch Chris Corsini's monthly astrology readings and for the past six months he has been yelling the same thing at me through the phone: “Let that shit GO!”

Fine! I’ll let it go! Jesus.

I consider myself a spiritual person, but I take my woo woo with a side of data. When I look around at the experiences of mine and those around me, the results are clear: good things happen when you let go of what is not meant for you.

The category of things not meant for you can be anything from leaving a relationship to leaving parties early. It can range from quitting your job to quitting alcohol. It can be letting go of relationships, friendships, habits, negative self talk, activities, places, jobs, self-limiting beliefs, or behaviors. When we ask ourselves what in our life no longer serves us, we most likely know the answer. That doesn’t mean parting with it will be easy.

The reward you get on the other side, however, is worth it. “It’s like clockwork,” said a friend who’s career expanded after finally letting go of a relationship that wasn’t right for her. “It can’t be that simple,” said another friend. “Like is the universe that obvious?”

I think it might be.

There’s a whole energetic process that takes place when it comes to bringing your life into alignment. I hate to call it manifesting, because the word implies an external source that’s responsible for determining your success. (It’s all rooted in your subconscious worth, [un]fortunately!) It’s a process I’ve been learning a lot about over the past year, and I’ll share more about the mechanics of it all next week.

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With January comes the new. The fresh, fat, juicy fruits. Fertile soil and budding seeds. Overflowing abundance, sprawling vines and flowers that bloom. (Metaphorically speaking, I’m aware that it’s winter) But in order to receive everything that’s waiting for you, you have to let go of the things that don’t serve you.

So I implore you to take the next few weeks of December as an opportunity to check in and take stock. What are you holding on to that doesn’t align with your authentic self? What are you doing that holds you back from the person you want to become? In what ways are you playing small? What do you need to let go of? I have a feeling you already know.

Let go or be dragged. Up to you.

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Recommendations

A large handful of months ago Miranda July’s team was kind enough to send me an advanced reader copy of All Fours. The first time I cracked it open, for some reason, I just couldn’t get into it. (I have this annoying tendency of either being enthralled by something or I literally do not care at all. It also seems to depend on no factors other than simply finding me at the right place at the right time)

When I was home for Thanksgiving I was fresh out of books and saw All Fours on my nightstand, so I picked it up to give it another chance. This time, it commanded my attention. I devoured it in three days. It’s a deeply honest, yet entertaining and hilarious, story about what happens when a midlife crisis meets sexual awakening in your 40s. Sorry for not liking it the first time, Miranda! Mercury must have been in retrograde or something.

On another note, I’m training for a half marathon. I find running insanely challenging, and most definitely have never considered myself “a runner”. But I am, as Miranda July would call me, “a body-rooted fucker.” I love tapping into my body and pushing it to its limits, so I’m always game for a physical challenge and doing the hard thing.

The aptly named album below is immaculate for running. I also made a 90 minute playlist for those who enjoy an electronic cinematic in-your-feels kind of run.

I’ve also been on a roll rewatching some of my favorite movies of all time. I can’t stand to watch TV, so a good movie is the only way you can keep me on the couch for two straight hours without bouncing off to do something else. I rewatched A Clockwork Orange, one of my all time favorites from my early adulthood. I also rewatched The Great Beauty, an Italian art film that has one of my favorite musical scores of all time. I also watched, for the 5th time, The Place Beyond the Pines—whoever styled Ryan Gosling in that movie deserves an award because, damn, he looks good.

Tonight I’m rewatching The Notebook as a reminder that love still exists and not all men are swiping on Hinge looking for validation while sitting on the toilet.

xoxo

Lily